SORRY YOU DIE HARD FEMINISTS, BUT THE FATHER MAKES OR BREAKS THE FAMILY

"As the king goes, so goes the kingdom," recognizes Arthur in Excalibur.

OK —— I LOOOOVE knowing that my core principles are often politically INcorrect, so, "fellow" girls, try not to get your panties in a wad over the following. Think now – did Lorraine, when George was kind of a weenie, emerge as a stalwart career woman – harried but carrying on? No, actually, her life was destroyed and she was rendered ineffectual and pathetic. It's funny how, no matter how liberal and feminist minded Hollywood claims to lean, they actually GET IT. They understand on a basic fundamental level that it is the husband, the father, who makes or breaks a family.

Now there is no offense intended to single women families – women whose husbands died or abandoned them. My grandmother was a single mom who brought up her three children and struggled through the depression singlehandedly after her husband, my grandfather, died. I also have two friends who lost husbands to early death and soldiered on to raise their children alone.

To me those lone moms are heroes: keeping their families intact, earning a living, being the backbone of their children's lives all the while dealing with grief, loss of income, and spiritual challenges. But is that the way they WANTED it to be? My mother, to the day she died, mourned the fact she did not have a father while growing up. He died when she was 12. I have other friends who are mothers today, divorced, widowed, or alone in other ways. They persevere – and I respect them and thank God every day I did not have to raise my children without a stalwart husband at my side. But is that what these single matriarchs prefer? Do they find now that their husbands were irrelevant luxuries? Not the ones I know.

But what does the media try to convince us that they believe: that men are as useful to women as a bicycle is to a fish, thank you Gloria Steinham. Have you SEEN the shows Married with Children and The Simpsons? The fathers are — well, wastes of space would not be an overstatement, even though they stay with the family and continue to provide for them.

The mantra today is that women do not need men. Women's Lib, government welfare, commercials, movies, songs and TV shows attempt to treat the Dad as jokes – useless, unneeded baggage, or worse: alcoholic, abusive and better off gone. When in fact, if you watch closely, even in the media entertainments which denigrate the father, it is the Dad whose personality informs the family he creates.

A good father/husband, even when gone, leaves a legacy of strength. A bad one leaves his mark too, whether on the moral character, religious faithfulness, work ethic, or respect for the law. And this reality is reflected in the movie media, even seemingly against their own will, to trivialize the very person, for better OR worse, whose personality will primarily shape the persona of the children and wife either in their care or that they leave behind

Mary Poppins and The Pacifier

THE FATHER AND FATHER FIGURE IN BACK TO THE FUTURE

Continuing our background on BTTF, Marty is friends with one Emmett Brown, (Christopher Lloyd) local brilliant eccentric inventor. Doc has no family and Marty has no father to speak of. Their friendship is quite touching as Doc is Marty's substitute father figure, but it is ultimately not enough.

(Quick quiz: Did Lloyd and Fox, who had such amazing chemistry together in this trilogy, ever reunite to act together again?)

Fast forward to the end of the movie. Marty has changed everything by getting George to punch Biff while defending Lorraine. George's show of courage by standing up to whom he was most afraid – Biff – has informed the next 20 years of his life, making him a financial success, an inspiration to his children, and even a published author in his spare time. Their two oldest children are confident professionals. And Lorraine has blossomed into a lovely vivacious athletic woman, truly in love with her husband and her life.

The Father Makes or Breaks the Family

(Answer: Yes: Spin City in 1999 and The Michael J Fox Show in 2014. Full disclosure, I have never seen either show but found this info on Wikipedia.)

BACK TO THE FUTURE – LORRAINE (BACKGROUND REFRESHER FOR FUTURE BLOG)

As Lorraine (Lea Thompson) recounts when she fell in love with George, there is a moment of surprisingly deep pathos.

(Quick quiz: This is possibly the best work Ms Thompson ever did. Can you name how many distinct but necessarily similar parts she plays in the course of the trilogy?)

Biff has just brought back their family car in a wreck, intimidated George into doing his office work for him, leers at Lorraine, then departs. George takes his mind off everything by watching an old rerun of Jackie Gleason at the rickety kitchen foldout that serves as the family dining room table. She gazes at her husband and recounts, for the umpteenth time to her three ignoring children the story of how she fell in love with George when they were teenagers. George laughs mindlessly at a TV show. She winds up the overly familiar story with, "…and that was when I realized I was going to spend the rest of my life with him." The loss of their wasted life together etched into the pathetic expression on her face is heartbreaking.

(Answer: In order of appearance: SIX – Middle-aged pathetic Lorraine, young vivacious Lorraine, middle-aged blossoming Lorraine, Elderly Lorraine, Middle-aged BUXOM pathetic Lorraine, Western Lorraine/Maggie. Each has their own individual personalities. Each of the Lorraines, while the same character, are different in the way they move, react, use body language, speak. Middle aged buxom pathetic Lorraine has a raspy alcoholic voice and moves in the halting way you might expect of someone used to dodging blows. Western Lorraine/Maggie is Irish and moves with confidence and dignity but a healthy sniffy suspicion to the young intruder, Marty. You get the drift. Thompson does a truly magnificent job making all the Lorraines alike but different. And yes, there is no real reason that Marty's mother should look like his great great … great? grandmother Maggie unless we are to believe that her family and the McFlys have been intermarrying for generations, which would make Lorraine not only Marty's mother but a distant cousin … but we'll let that one go.)

The Father and the Father Figure in Back to the Future

BACK TO THE FUTURE – GEORGE (BACKGROUND REFRESHER FOR FUTURE BLOG)

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

I don't like to give spoilers, but in a review of this kind for teachable moments it is often necessary. Most movie goers have seen the first BTTF, if not the entire trilogy of this rather brilliantly conceived and virtually flawlessly executed time travel/coming of age comedy. The consistency and seamlessness with which Zemeckis has interwoven the characters, story and time travel itself can be the subject of another article.

(Quick quiz: What other Zemeckis film dealt with a fatherless boy who becomes a hero, bringing everyone around him UP against very steep obstacles? Hint: not exactly time travel but the actor character was inserted, by movie magic, into seminal historical film footage.)

But, just for those who need a refresher: In the original time line, George is a cowardly geeky doormat. George is taken advantage of by the school bully, Biff, as a teen, and then still abused by Biff when both are adults and co-workers. Biff gets George to do his homework then office reports, advances over George's footprint tattooed self-esteem, wrecks George's car, and lusts after his wife, Lorraine. Lorraine, a former prom queen type, is now a chubby lush who drinks whisky from an 8 ounce tumbler like it was iced tea. We learn more about the details of how they met and the sparking for her infatuation later in the movie but suffice it to say that Lorraine married George because she felt sorry for him and had futile hopes that he would grow into a knight in shining armor.

Next Up: BACK TO THE FUTURE – LORRAINE (BACKGROUND REFRESHER FOR FUTURE BLOG)

Answer: Forrest Gump